Be able to critique their own and others’ work by emphasizing global revision early in the writing process and local revision later in the process.
This semester I tried to focus on improving both my local and global revision comments. I feel my global revisions in this paper were really strong. One example of this in the paper was where I provided a place for the writer to improve his transition from transitions. My comment stated “Good idea but you need to transition from drawing parallels to showing empathy. Try to explain how the Zaki Ted Talk and Jamison’s article connect if you plan to keep them in the same paragraph.” I thought this one place where my global revisions were constructive and helpful. I felt my comment was justified because if I struggled to make the transition from one paragraph to another, then other readers probably would too. One weakness with my global revision comments is that I can become too opinionated. For example, my comment at the end of the second paragraph stated “I think Jamison’s personal experience of drawing a parallel in her own life and being able to be more open minded because of that really speaks to your thesis. You may want to explore this more deeply.” This comment contained a majority of my own opinions that I wanted the writer to include in his paper. I feel this comment wasn’t particularly helpful and I need to work to try to be less opinionated in my global revision comments.
Local revision is an area of revision that I really tended to ignore. As is evidenced in the paper, I did make some local revision suggestions. For example, I suggested the writer change “in” to “into” in paragraph four. However, I didn’t tend to read the first papers for local change, as I tried to look at the bigger picture and focus on global revisions. I feel that local revisions are something I could improve on both when commenting on others’ papers and in my own works.
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